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Wallbanger

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Author: Alice Clayton

Published: November 27th 2012 by Omnific Publishing

Format: Paperback , Original Edition , 384 pages

Isbn: 9781623420024

Language: English


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The first night after Caroline moves into her fantastic new San Francisco apartment, she realizes she's gaining an intimate knowledge of her new neighbor's nocturnal adventures. Thanks to paper-thin walls and the guy's athletic prowess, she can hear not just his bed banging against the wall but the ecstatic response of what seems (as loud night after loud night goes by) li The first night after Caroline moves into her fantastic new San Francisco apartment, she realizes she's gaining an intimate knowledge of her new neighbor's nocturnal adventures. Thanks to paper-thin walls and the guy's athletic prowess, she can hear not just his bed banging against the wall but the ecstatic response of what seems (as loud night after loud night goes by) like an endless parade of women. And since Caroline is currently on a self-imposed dating hiatus, and her neighbor is clearly lethally attractive to women, she finds her fantasies keep her awake even longer than the noise. So when the wallbanging threatens to literally bounce her out of bed, Caroline, clad in sexual frustration and a pink baby-doll nightie, confronts Simon Parker, her heard-but-never-seen neighbor. The tension between them is as thick as the walls are thin, and the results just as mixed. Suddenly, Caroline is finding she may have discovered a whole new definition of neighborly... In a delicious mix of silly and steamy, Alice Clayton dishes out a hot and hilarious tale of exasperation at first sight...

30 review for Wallbanger

  1. 4 out of 5

    Aestas Book Blog

    5 HUGE STARS!!!! LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE THIS BOOK!! EVERYONE HAS TO READ IT!!! This book was brilliant!! Pure gold! I’m in love with Simon. Completely, utterly in love. My cheeks ache from laughing. My heart is happy. Did I mention I love this book? This book was pure, decadent, lighthearted, un-put-downable, FUN!! A well-written, perfect blend of all things happy, romantic, sweet, funny (hilarious, really), melty, swoony, witty, steamy, with just enough tender, deeper moments to make my heart squeeze. 5 HUGE STARS!!!! LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE THIS BOOK!! EVERYONE HAS TO READ IT!!! This book was brilliant!! Pure gold! I’m in love with Simon. Completely, utterly in love. My cheeks ache from laughing. My heart is happy. Did I mention I love this book? This book was pure, decadent, lighthearted, un-put-downable, FUN!! A well-written, perfect blend of all things happy, romantic, sweet, funny (hilarious, really), melty, swoony, witty, steamy, with just enough tender, deeper moments to make my heart squeeze. I fell in love with everything – the characters, the writing, the story… and Clive. The most awesome cat ever to grace the pages of a novel. It was just one winning line after another. I swear to freaking God, more than half my book is highlighted. No joke!! The banter! The chemistry! The flirting! The texts!!!! *melt* The nooking! The wooing! … this book is just loaded with win! I read most of it with a big stupid grin plastered on my face and pretty much just alternated between squeeing, squealing, giggling, snorting, crying, shaking and cackling with laughter. What’s this book about though? Now, usually, I write my own descriptions, but I love the official blurb too much so here it is: Caroline Reynolds has a fantastic new apartment in San Francisco, a KitchenAid mixer, and no O (and we’re not talking Oprah here, folks). She has a flourishing design career, an office overlooking the bay, a killer zucchini bread recipe, and no O. She has Clive (the best cat ever), great friends, a great rack, and no O. Adding insult to O-less, since her move, she has an oversexed neighbor with the loudest late-night wallbanging she’s ever heard. Each moan, spank, and–was that a meow?–punctuates the fact that not only is she losing sleep, she still has, yep, you guessed it, no O. Enter Simon Parker. (No, really, Simon, please enter.) When the wallbanging threatens to literally bounce her out of bed, Caroline, clad in sexual frustration and a pink baby-doll nightie, confronts her heard-but-never-seen neighbor. Their late-night hallway encounter has, well, mixed results. Ahem. With walls this thin, the tension’s gonna be thick… Simon “Wallbanger” Parker. Cocky, charming, sexy as all hell, confident… and once we got to know him better, sweep-you-off-your-feet swoony. I adored him, its that simple. He has made me list of top book boyfriends ever! I loved that his character had depth. At first you kind of wondered if he was just a bit of a manwhore but I loved that there was a whole background to him. And its hard not to love a man who is obsessed with baked goods. “You want me to cut you a piece — okay, or you could just do that.” I frowned as he took a giant bite out of the end. “Thif if mine, righ?” he asked, spraying crumbs. “How do you function in normal society?” I asked shaking my head as he took another monster bite. I loved Caroline too. She was sweet yet feisty and refreshingly direct about everything. Brain, Heart, Nerves, Backbone, and of course, O were brilliant additions to the story! I loved how casually Simon and Caroline’s relationship developed. They were seriously one of the sweetest couples ever but there was no falling into bed on first sight for them. “Now, you listen, mister.” I said, trying for a more adult tone. “I’m not going to spend every night listening to you try to crash your girl’s head through my wall with the force of your dick alone! No way, buddy.” They went from cockblocker/wallbanger to truce status to friends to lovers. The whole process just warmed my heart. And throw in a healthy dollop of sexual tension and innuendos out the wazoo and you pretty much have a recipe for awesome. “I like that we’re taking things slow. You give good woo,” I whispered. I never once felt any urges to throttle a character, or yell at them.. no eye rolling. Nothing. I was just one purely satisfied reader … Oh, and “Simon goes commando. God bless America.” Flaily Pink Nightie Girl and Mr Wallbanger Snorey Pants will always have a special place in my heart <3 Guys, READ THIS BOOK!!!!! CASTING (see above and below) For more of my reviews, visit Aestas Book Blog And come join the Aestas Book Blog Facebook Page

  2. 4 out of 5

    Richa

    BANG BANG BANG! Oh God............ BANG BANG BANG!! Oh God................ BANG BANG BANG!!! OH GOD OH GOD OH GOD OH GOOOOOODDDD!!!!!!! THE WALLS ARE SHAKING, PICTURES ARE FALLING DOWN!!!! RUN FOR COVER PEOPLE!!! GRAB YOUR FAVOURITE BOOK, SHOVE IT DOWN YOUR DRESS AND HIDE UNDER THE TABLE!! I THINK WE'RE HAVING AN EARTHQUAKE!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! BUT Wait A Sec...........Not an earthquake...........nope, definitely not an earthquake.......One, only one wall is shaking.....LI BANG BANG BANG! Oh God............ BANG BANG BANG!! Oh God................ BANG BANG BANG!!! OH GOD OH GOD OH GOD OH GOOOOOODDDD!!!!!!! THE WALLS ARE SHAKING, PICTURES ARE FALLING DOWN!!!! RUN FOR COVER PEOPLE!!! GRAB YOUR FAVOURITE BOOK, SHOVE IT DOWN YOUR DRESS AND HIDE UNDER THE TABLE!! I THINK WE'RE HAVING AN EARTHQUAKE!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! BUT Wait A Sec...........Not an earthquake...........nope, definitely not an earthquake.......One, only one wall is shaking.....LIKE SOMEONE'S BANGING ON IT!!!! Let's take a closer look, Shall we? “OH, GOD.” Thump. “Oh, God.” Thump thump. What the… “Oh, God, that’s so good!” “Mmmm…Yeah, baby. Right there. Just like that…Don’t stop, don’t stop!” OH! OH! OOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Mystery solved, readers! Meet NOT The Wallbanger..... BUT THE WALLBANGER!!!!!!!!!!! Name : Simon Wallbanger Parker Age : 28 years Occupation : Freelance photographer Interests : Pleasing the ladies by doing it in a rattling-the headboard-shaking-the-wall-making-a-woman-meow-and-giggle style with maybe some spanking thrown in!!! He can definitely bang it home, ladies!!! Definitely a wallbanger!!! --------------------------------------------------------------- Notice Something MISSING??? That's right!!! The BIG 'O' Meet 'O'. This Orgasm (O) is the.... Property of: Caroline Pink Nightie Girl Reynolds, a 26 year old interior designer. Missing since: Last Six Months Culprit: Cory Weinstein. The machine-gun fucker who’d hijacked the O Description of the event by the victim: This was the worst kind of sex. This was machine-gun style: fast, fast, fast. This was thirty seconds on the tits, sixty seconds on something that was about an inch above where he should have been, and then in. And out. And in. And out. And in. And out. But at least it was over quick, right? Hell, no. This horribleness went on for months. Well, no. But for almost thirty minutes. Of in. And out. And in. And out. My poor hoohah felt like it had been sandblasted. Remedies Tried: Jason Bourne, Matt Damon, George Clooney..... ALL OF THEM HAVE FAILED!!!!!! WHAT TO DO NOW?????????????? Let's look for someone closer to home........ Simon Wallbanger meet Caroline. Caroline meet Simon Wallbanger!!!! Problem solved!!!! YAYYY!! But, NO WAIT, WHAT'S THIS? “Why are you such a manwhoring asshole?” I asked. “Why are you such a cockblocking priss?” he asked NOOOOOOOOOO...........NOW, HOW WILL WE EVER FIND.... ????????????????????????? Oh no.........I'm not crying.......Alright, yes I am......but how can I not when I'm laughing so hard!!! [image error] So, readers....why don't you continue the search while I LA-U-GH MY HE-AD O-F-F!!!!! ------------------------------------------------------------- WARNING: 1)Beware of one-night stands that could make your 'O' go on a vacation for a long time or even forever. :0 2)Be aware of the walls you build and what could be on the other side 3) Clive, the cat too is trying to find his 'one and only' Purina ever since he heard the 'meow'ing through the walls and fell in love or maybe lust(so what if he's neutered? He's allowed to have feelings!!)!!......He is now following in the footsteps of the Wallbanger!!!! So, beware, he's one hissy and horny ball of lust and fur!! Clive: I allowed myself to dream. Of her. The one that got away........... [image error]

  3. 4 out of 5

    Blacky *Romance Addict*

    Text messages between The Book and Blacky : So, what do you think about me? Well you weren't short at all :D Well yeah I'm pretty long... and thick... Just about average I'd say Pfttt you are average missy! Didn't you like all the humor? Yeah it was good I guess, the scene with Dr. Ross was the best :D Ohhhh yes, makes me think of dirty things, that man. I wish I had my O back :( Yes, I wish it too! Your O brought more frustration to me than it did to you! Whatcha sayin'? You didn't li Text messages between The Book and Blacky : So, what do you think about me? Well you weren't short at all :D Well yeah I'm pretty long... and thick... Just about average I'd say Pfttt you are average missy! Didn't you like all the humor? Yeah it was good I guess, the scene with Dr. Ross was the best :D Ohhhh yes, makes me think of dirty things, that man. I wish I had my O back :( Yes, I wish it too! Your O brought more frustration to me than it did to you! Whatcha sayin'? You didn't like all the sexual frustration? How is that possible? How is that possible indeed -.- And what about my story? What did you think of that? Story? What story? Book, all you talked about was the lack of orgasms, flirtation, sexual frustration, sex... I may have forgotten a sexual thing or two that were mentioned :P Mmmmmmm sexxxxxx. Me wants the big O :( Hello book! Focus! I am talking to you! Talking? Talking about sex? Mmmmmm sexxxxxx. Me wants the big O :( I am facepalming here! Can you try to have a nice conversation without thinking of sex? Me? Thinking about sex? Mmmmmmm sexxxxxx. Me wants the big O :( Sigh. I give up. Did you just write "sigh"??? Well that's a hell of a time to start noticing!! :P Blacky, Simon, Caroline, The Cat, The Book and The Friends are on a road trip, traveling in the car together: Blacky OMG I have to endure several hours in the car with Mr. Horny and Ms. Hornier and the CatfromHell. Ughhh. The friends are interesting though, but even they think of nothing but sex. I see Simon is looking at Caroline in a smouldering way. His eyes don't stop twinkling for goodness sake! Simon Why am I thinking about Caroline all the time? Hm must mean I want to wallbang her too. Damn that will be tough cause she can't stop arguing with me. Why does she hate me so much? Oh yeah, I bang girls like crazy. Mmmmmmmm. Banging... Walls... Why doesn't this car have walls????? Caroline Simon keeps touching the inside of the car, I don't think he likes it. He does like f*cking girls through the wall though. I want to be f*cked through a wall :( Wait, no! I don't! I hate Simon! But he's so pretty, my lower Caroline says... I don't care! He's a jerk! But I keep flirting with him all the time, my lower Caroline says... So what! I can flirt and do whatever I like 'cause I don't have my O anymore. Oh O how I miss you :((( The CatfromHell They don't have a clue *evil laugh*. I will make their lives misarable *evil laugh*. The girl loves me, but I don't plan to let her have her O back with the arrogant man *evil laugh*. I will spoil all their plans eventually *evil laugh*. My throat hurts from all the evil laughing *coughs* Simon Did that cat just evil laughed at me???? I must be hearing things. Oh well back to thinking about sex. And Caroline. Damn, I'm hard. Will she stop looking at me with those hungry eyes? Damn, I'm even harder now. Must. Squirm. In. My. Seat! Caroline Simon keeps squirming all the time. What is his problem??? He's got to have a big hard-on just for me. Too bad I can't give it to him cause he's a jerk and I don't have my O back. But I feel some suspicious fluttering, my lower Caroline says... YAY! I'm gonna jump him as soon as I can! Without actually having sex with him! Ahhhh I just love that sexual frustration... The Friends They are all so stupid ahahahaha we have found our someones to have sex with ahahahahaha we don't suffer any sexual frustration ahahahahaha Blacky OMG these people are driving me crazy! Simon is trying to hide his hard-on, Caroline is talking to her belly, the cat is making some funny evil noises, and the friends are probably high or something, they can't stop laughing. Jeez :((( Is anything going to happen here that doesn't have anything to do with sex or having sex or the lack of sex??? Guess not :( The Book I am so happy :D Everyone is horny and thinking about sex! So awesome! I am never going to let anyone do it ever again! Well, maybe The Friends will. But man oh man, there's nothing better than blue balls and frustration! Just love it! Oh I have to think of a few scenes (well make it dozen at least), where they'll want to have sex but couldn't do it for some reason! Oh yes! I think I will form an alliance with The CatfromHell. Awesome! Oh! Mmmmm.. Yes, more to the left! Harder! Yesssssss... Oh yes, that's soooo gooood! Harder, yes, there! Push it! Ohhhhhhhhh I just love going to the masseur! You'd THINK I was doing something naughty. But no. Lots of these in the book too :DDD Anyway let me tell you what I thought about it in general. No plot whatsoever. Too much sexual frustration. Humor was OK, but would be better if there was just a bit less of it, you know, sometimes too much of a good thing can make you sick :D I don't really mind the fact that they had to wait practically for the (view spoiler)[end of the book to do the deed. (hide spoiler)] Read lots of books like that, didn't mind it. In this case, all the sex talk and sex thought, and lack of orgasm talk, and lack of orgasm thought, and flirting all the freaking time, and getting it on a few times, just to stop at the good part... No. A bit f*cking no for me. Every damn chapter was about the things I said above, nothing else. It may be good to read this in small doses, but a whole book? No. Thanks. Sorry. What I liked: My favorite scene from the whole book is when they watched the Exorcist, and they slept together in her bed. Very very lovely, and I think the only scene that was nice without some sexual overtones. Maybe there were a few, but nothing that stood out. Perfect scene in my opinion :) When they went to Spain :) Even though when I read that they'll go through all the bases before the deed... I lost a few million neurons from that, my brain kinda had a stroke or something cause I wanted to burn the damn book if only I had the paperback. Lucky for me I have an e-book reader so I felt too sorry to smash it to bits. But I was tempted!!!! Anyway, the ending of Spain was great, very realistic and I'm glad the author did it that way! The style of writing was VERY good, can't say anything about that, I just wish the humor and sex-everything was a little toned down, and if there was a story thrown in. But oh well, can't have everything, right?? Text messages between The Book and Blacky So you didn't like me very much then? :(( I did like you, you poor sex-obsessed thing! But I guess I wanted a bit more from you... Blacky, you just have lousy taste in books, admit it! I am awesome! Hey, won't argue with you there :D You might be awesome, but to someone else. And I sure am! Look at all the other great reviews I have :P I am! I did! And I hope my review won't turn anyone from the book, it isn't my fault my brain couldn't cope with it :(( Nice of you to admit your deranged brain Blacky! I knew there must have been something seriously wrong with you if you didn't like me! Phew! Glad to know now eheheheheh Hey just don't spread it around OK?! No problemo, my Blacky :D I will just continue my sexless scheming for other people! Oh yeah! *buddy read 06.01. with Steph, Sharon, Karen, Kristal, Endless and whoever decides to join* Thanks so much for reading this with me my friends :)

  4. 5 out of 5

    Cindy

    What is with these 'OMG! Super-Hot! Fun!' books that become all the rage here on GR lately? And they are all the same. A Mary Sue heroine with a perfect job and perfect friends who looks perfect but for some reason is alone and sexually frustrated. And she's all kinds of batshit about her perceptions of men or sex or men AND sex. Thus, the heroine of what exactly? Then the hero. Well he's of course otherworldly gorgeous and fit, although he puts absolutely no effort into becoming that way, and mo What is with these 'OMG! Super-Hot! Fun!' books that become all the rage here on GR lately? And they are all the same. A Mary Sue heroine with a perfect job and perfect friends who looks perfect but for some reason is alone and sexually frustrated. And she's all kinds of batshit about her perceptions of men or sex or men AND sex. Thus, the heroine of what exactly? Then the hero. Well he's of course otherworldly gorgeous and fit, although he puts absolutely no effort into becoming that way, and most of the time he's super rich (of course) and the very definition of Prince Charming, except more rouge and rascal than sweet and heroic. Thus, not really a hero. Even so, I usually make it farther than I did in this book and not because this book is worse - by no means will anything scar me worse than the virginity scene in In Flight *shivers* - but because I've just had enough. If I hadn't had enough I might have struggled through and given this 3 stars in the end. But that's another reason I'm doing this this way. 4 1/2 stars overall rating for this book? That is hysterically misleading. And this girls problems with her frakkin O and all of these blatant attempts as farcical humor are just too damn much. Oh, and this cat everyone is mooning over, Clive? He's the most unrealistic of all. He's like cartoon Garfield unrealistic. And trust me, I know some cats with personality but this is just stupid. /rant.

  5. 4 out of 5

    Warda

    Reread. I was worried that this wouldn’t be as great as the first time I read it. I was wrong, thank god. It was so good. So fuckin’ good. There were numerous times I started to tear up because my emotions were going haywire. I’m just so in love with this book! —————————————— Well, hello there, my new favourite. Come to mama! I judged this book by the title. And I feel like an absolute fool now, because fuck me, I loved this! Loved it! I can't wait to reread it and continue on with the series. And r Reread. I was worried that this wouldn’t be as great as the first time I read it. I was wrong, thank god. It was so good. So fuckin’ good. There were numerous times I started to tear up because my emotions were going haywire. I’m just so in love with this book! —————————————— Well, hello there, my new favourite. Come to mama! I judged this book by the title. And I feel like an absolute fool now, because fuck me, I loved this! Loved it! I can't wait to reread it and continue on with the series. And read other books by this author.

  6. 4 out of 5

    Katerina

    “Kittens,lay back.You are about to get Wallbanged.” I was an addict craving her dose.I was lost in a dull world full of mundane stuff for so long I almost became a mundane myself.After a month of abstinence from reading and severe book deprivation,after long days and bookless nights,the time came to return where I belong.And I had to celebrate!I wanted something light.I wanted saucy and funny and Wallbanger promised to deliver them all.And oh boy,it did!But it also delivered sweet,and “Kittens,lay back.You are about to get Wallbanged.” I was an addict craving her dose.I was lost in a dull world full of mundane stuff for so long I almost became a mundane myself.After a month of abstinence from reading and severe book deprivation,after long days and bookless nights,the time came to return where I belong.And I had to celebrate!I wanted something light.I wanted saucy and funny and Wallbanger promised to deliver them all.And oh boy,it did!But it also delivered sweet,and fluffy,and dreamy and a new book boyfriend that reduced me into a puddle of goo.It's official people,I'm in love!Again! “Fucking Wallbanger,” I hissed, frozed on the spot. His grin slid off as well as he played place-the-face for a moment. “Fucking Pink Nightie Girl.” Caroline has a wonderful job and wonderful friends and a wonderful new apartment and a wonderful cat and her life would be-guess what-wonderful if it wasn't for two things:her missing O and her neighbor's loud midnight activities. “The girl next door was meowing. What in the world was my neighbor packing to make that happen?” What sucks though is that the aforementioned annoying but gifted neighbor is super hot.Sahara hot.And that Caroline is forced to play nice with Simon despite wanting to bang his head on the banging wall but at the same time she wants him to bang her against the god-banging wall.See the problem here? “You gonna bang my walls, Simon?” I laughed. “You have no idea,” he promised.” The result?Tension,innuendos,sexual frustration,banters,tension,laugh-out-loud moments,tension and did I mention tension? Oh,and a really horny cat! Alice Clayton's writing is freaking hilarious,I can't remember the last time I laughed this hard!I had permanently a huge grin plastered on my face and I hosted a butterfly party in my stomach and that wasn't the work of Caroline and Simon's off-the-charts chemistry alone!The way their feelings developed and unfolded was really heartwarming and sweet,a slowly burning process that made Wallbanger a really romantic book!They cooked together,they watched movies together,they shared their secrets and hopes and then they gave in to their animal attraction.I must admit I never expected a guy named Simon to be this sexy!Oh how I wish I had a wallbanging neighbor but alas!,the closest house is my late grandfather's house.If I hear those walls banging,it will be the beginning of a Supernatural episode and not a great romance.Unless Sam Winchester pops up and rescues me.That would be nice. My point is,if you want to laugh and swoon and escape stupid reality,this is the book for you!Plus,you're going to meet a very interesting cat...

  7. 4 out of 5

    Kristen

    Review posted at: Swept Away By Romance 3 1/2 to 4 stars There's no doubt Wallbanger is a fun, delightful, moderately sexy, feel-good read that bordered on the ANNOYING. There were times I felt like wallbanging my head against the wall with the amount of unresolved sexual tension this poor couple was put through. Geez! This particular aspect of the story became so frustrating. I enjoyed getting to know the two main characters, Simon and Caroline. They were endearing, playful–maybe a little immat Review posted at: Swept Away By Romance 3 1/2 to 4 stars There's no doubt Wallbanger is a fun, delightful, moderately sexy, feel-good read that bordered on the ANNOYING. There were times I felt like wallbanging my head against the wall with the amount of unresolved sexual tension this poor couple was put through. Geez! This particular aspect of the story became so frustrating. I enjoyed getting to know the two main characters, Simon and Caroline. They were endearing, playful–maybe a little immature for their ages–but very likable characters. Their fun and witty banter and developing friendship was what I loved the most about this book. I can't end this review without a SHOUT-OUT to Clive, the cat. Oh, boy, could that cat be in the wrong place at the wrong time! Understatement of the century! But, I loved his involvement in the story. At times I felt the cat actually eclipsed the two main leads. I love when an author has the ability to make an animal an intricate part of the plot. Other than my previously mentioned annoyances, I had a blast reading this book. If you're looking for a simple, fun, and engaging afternoon read, you'll probably enjoy this one.

  8. 4 out of 5

    ♡Karlyn P♡

    So disappointed! This book went from "O.M.G!" to a big fat "D.N.F." at 75% I really (and I mean REALLY!) enjoyed the opening of this book, and was looking forward to a great read. But in the end, I gave it too much of my time and finally just had to call it quits. Oh, it started off so funny and original. The 'Wallbanger' and 'Cock blocker' jokes were cute. Simon was such a mystery, and Caroline was a person I would love to hang with if she was a real person. Her conversations with her cat had So disappointed! This book went from "O.M.G!" to a big fat "D.N.F." at 75% I really (and I mean REALLY!) enjoyed the opening of this book, and was looking forward to a great read. But in the end, I gave it too much of my time and finally just had to call it quits. Oh, it started off so funny and original. The 'Wallbanger' and 'Cock blocker' jokes were cute. Simon was such a mystery, and Caroline was a person I would love to hang with if she was a real person. Her conversations with her cat had me laughing! And when Simon and her finally met, the banter was so well done. The story stayed on pace for a while, but around the halfway mark it got a little juvenile for my tastes. In the quest for friendship with Simon, Caroline got a bit whiney and started playing head games. The banter got a bit over the top. The cliches got a bit thick. And I was like "WTF Caroline?! And then the story got really farcical, but I persisted. Caroline started to really rub me wrong. What is happening to her? She is turning into a desperate, stupid big fat cliche from every bad Chick Lit book I've read. Then she really, really started to make me not like her. The romance between her and Simon was turning into rainbow farting unicorns, and the delusions dancing in her head were no longer entertaining. I no longer wanted to hang with her, assuming she was a real person. And the story about her friends got weirder and weirder. By the time I quit, Simon was the only thing about this book I still really liked. And that is how I plan to remember him, because I am so afraid if I finish this book I will end up not liking him either. So: DNF at 75%

  9. 4 out of 5

    Baba

    ETA: downgraded to 3 stars. September 20, 2015. "Hello O! Nice to see you again. With his lips he brought me one."     3.5 stars. I mean it. And I want half stars! Once upon a time there was a missing O. The pressure of an O long denied, waiting patiently—and sometimes impatiently—for her release. Lucky you, because you found The Wallbanger.   Simon: How’s the pressure now? Caroline: Do you want me to hurt you? Shut it! *a look of dreamy bliss on her face*   Enter Baba…   Hey guys! I wanna have a li ETA: downgraded to 3 stars. September 20, 2015. "Hello O! Nice to see you again. With his lips he brought me one."     3.5 stars. I mean it. And I want half stars! Once upon a time there was a missing O. The pressure of an O long denied, waiting patiently—and sometimes impatiently—for her release. Lucky you, because you found The Wallbanger.   Simon: How’s the pressure now? Caroline: Do you want me to hurt you? Shut it! *a look of dreamy bliss on her face*   Enter Baba…   Hey guys! I wanna have a little chat with you. Are you game? *nodding heads left and right* *Baba beams* Okey-dokey, let’s get started.   Honestly, I am not someone who beats around the bush. Are you two for real? *look of utter confusion on their faces* Oh, come on, are you a little bit slow on the uptake? When I was reading your story I had to wonder now and then why you could not jump each other’s bones sooner rather than later. Sheesh. Yep. By the way, I was waiting impatiently as well. I could feel the pressure and the sexual frustration tension, no doubt about it. If I take everything into account, then I have to tell you that you stressed my patience to its limit. Don’t get me wrong, I am all for a great build-up but why oh why did you have to wait so long till you hit the sheets eventually? Tell me, guys, is there a specific reason? No, Simon, please do not interrupt me now since I’m warming up so nicely! Yeah, I got it. It’s been a very long time since you’ve had a girlfriend and you didn’t want to screw it up. Yeah, yeah, you didn't know how to handle the delicate situation. Point taken. Oh, Simon, no worries, I’ll be gentle. *pets* At least I’ll give it an honest shot. I’ll give it to you straight, dude. Your stay in Tahoe was one seriously annoying mess, at least if you ask me and if you don’t ask me I don’t care either. Period. Do you remember what happened there? I mean you have (view spoiler)[this make out session in the hot tub and then...poof. Nada. Rien ne va plus. You just chickened out. (hide spoiler)] Seriously? What the hell were you thinking? Poor Caroline was oh-so embarrassed. One thing’s for sure, you hurt her feelings big time. Yeah, congrats Simon, you did a fine job. Give me high five, you pussy! That said, I felt that your stammering was not sexy and your little insecurities were even less attractive and it didn’t mesh well with you banging Giggler and other kittens in the beginning of your story.  As an afterthought…I *think* I'm not quite gentle at the moment. Well, Simon, get over it already. Baba likes to be straightforward. *pets some more* Do you have any more skeletons in your closet? Uh-oh…now Baba is running away scared…*hides under a table* Sorry, I’m back to my serious self. *nods vigorously* Lake Tahoe Text between Simon and Caroline: So are you the type of girl who wears a big floppy hat on the beach? Pardon me? You know, those crazy giant beach hats? Do you have one? As it happens, yes. Is this a concern of yours? Concern, no. Just trying to get a visual of you on the beach in Spain… How's that working out for you? Pretty spiffy. Spiffy? Did you just say spiffy? I typed it actually. You got something against spiffy? This explains the old records… HEY! I enjoy the old records. You know this… I do know this… Are we really going to Spain together? Yep. Are you home? I didn't see the Rover this morning. Checking up on me? Perhaps…where are you, Simon? Have a shoot in L.A., driving back in a few days. Can I see you when I get back? We'll see… I'll play records for you. Spiffy. Well, and then there was Clive. Clive…the (view spoiler)[stupid cat. (hide spoiler)] I can't wrap my head around the fact that Clive had to mess up your path (view spoiler)[into sexual oblivion. (hide spoiler)] Oh my, Caroline, please come a little bit closer. Yeah, real close…don't pout now. Studly Simon did show some nice stamina; I mean he worked so hard to find your elusive O and I was like…almost there…almost there…and then I was like WTF? Can you believe it? You were a hair's breadth away from finding your happy ending…so, so close to end your dry spell and then (view spoiler)[the dumb cat had to attack. *pulls hair* (hide spoiler)] Forgive me when I have a moment of utter reflection... That was so not funny at all. If anything, it was pretty silly and annoying. Baba, keep your cool. *deep breath* Ok, I *think* I'm back to my normal self…not quite sure though. Sheesh, I need a drink (I don't drink). Sorry, I'm babbling. Shut it, Baba. Caroline, how are you today? Mmm…yes, I feel you, my lovely. It’s always nice to see a totally satisfied and happy woman. Yeah, I can see you being on cloud nine. After your O has been dancing in the periphery, wondering why she wasn't being granted immediate access, you really deserve some happy. But now you have control of the b*tch and it was worth the wait, don't you think? Hence, good things come to those who wait, and let me tell you that I’m very glad for you that the wait has come to an end. Lucky you, Wallbanger brought it home. Apropos, your bread is deliciously good! I hope you know the saying “The way to a man’s heart is through his stomach.” All’s well that ends well. Unfortunately our little chat has to end now. I wish you plenty of love, fun and banter! Take care.   Baba xxx P.S. Don't forget to tidy up your kitchen…flour and raisins everywhere. (view spoiler)[Sex in the kitchen is pretty messy, huh? (hide spoiler)]     Overall verdict Wallbanger is a light and fun story. I was actually glad to dive into something fluffy because my last read was anything but hilarious. If anything, it was a super crazy ride. Then again, fluffy can grate my nerves as well, i. e. when the plot is scraping the edge of being a bit goofy or when the MCs just can’t. Get. It. On. Or when an annoying ex-boyfriend enters the stage. Or when (view spoiler)[a stupid cat is in the wrong place at the wrong time. Did I say that I wanted to hurt the cat?? (hide spoiler)] I think you get the gist. Granted, a hero’s insecurities can be boyishly cute, however, Simon is twenty-eight-years old for Pete’s sake and banging women against his neighbor’s wall. Oh well. Having said that, when these two finally—and I mean finally—came together, it made up for the negative parts of the plot. On a very positive note, I loved their funny texts and the interlude in Spain was pretty hot and very enjoyable too. Although I have (view spoiler)[to repeat that I wanted to hurt the cat big time. (hide spoiler)] In conclusion, I enjoyed Wallbanger and would recommend this book to those readers who are looking for something light and diverting. Don't take this story too seriously.       Expected publication date: November 27, 2012     **ARC courtesy by Alice Clayton, author, in behalf of Omnific Publishing. I appreciate it—thank you!**  

  10. 4 out of 5

    Nenia ⚔️ Queen of Villainy ⚔️ Campbell

    Instagram || Twitter || Facebook || Amazon || Pinterest 💙 I read this for the Unapologetic Romance Readers' New Years 2018 Reading Challenge, for the category of: Contemporary Romance. For more info on this challenge, click here. 💙   WALLBANGER by Alice Clayton is aptly named, because when I finished this book, I wanted to throw it at the wall, it was so bad. I wanted to read this book because I love romance novels and people were saying that it was the funniest romance novel they had ever rea Instagram || Twitter || Facebook || Amazon || Pinterest 💙 I read this for the Unapologetic Romance Readers' New Years 2018 Reading Challenge, for the category of: Contemporary Romance. For more info on this challenge, click here. 💙   WALLBANGER by Alice Clayton is aptly named, because when I finished this book, I wanted to throw it at the wall, it was so bad. I wanted to read this book because I love romance novels and people were saying that it was the funniest romance novel they had ever read. When I picked it up, I envisioned BRIDGET JONES'S DIARY for the twentieth century woman. Instead, I got... something lame. Caroline lives in a San Francisco apartment that is much too nice for her to afford based on the job that she has (interior designer). Her next-door neighbor has great sex every night... with another woman - and Caroline is annoyed because they bang against the wall they share, and it reminds her that she can't get any. Not only that, but she comes up with mean nicknames for each of the girls he sleeps with. "Giggler" for the girl who laughs during sex. "Purina" for the girl who meows during sex (??). And "Spanks" for the girl who enjoys rough stuff in bed. She charmingly calls these girls his "harem." One day, she confronts him in a pink nightgown and for some reason they find each other attractive. The next 300 pages is a hot-mess of stupid cat-puns, as related to female genitals, Caroline exclaiming "Mother of Pearl!", bad jokes, poorly characterized individuals running around and acting like idiots, and some of the worst sex scenes I've ever read. Considering that his sex life pre-Caroline is like a traveling circus act, his sex life post-Caroline is surprisingly vanilla and banal. Is this perhaps anti-marriage propaganda, paid for by a corporation that has a vested interest in keeping the world promiscuous? (I SEE YOU, TROJAN CONDOMS). Don't have marriage, or you will lose your exciting and numerous meowing, spanking, giggling sex partners and be whined at and nagged and humiliated while having boring sex!  I can see no other rational explanation for how something so consciously terrible gained so much steam (especially considering the lack of steam). Also, extra negative points for using the line: "I am not like most women" (66) and meaning it. Terrible sex scenes: The idea that a kiss, just a kiss, had turned me into this giant lusting bag of CarolineNeedThat was undeniable, and I knew that if he continued to make me feel this way I was going to invite him straight into my Tahoe. Great idea. "Come into my Tahoe, Simon," I mumbled incoherently into his mouth (203). She's so pretty. I mean, there's pretty and then there's pretty... What a pussy I am. Fuck pretty - she's beautiful ... pussy ... And she smells good ... pussy ... why do some girls just smell better? Some girls smell like flowery, fruity bullshit. I mean, why would some girls want to smell like a mango? Why should a girl smell like a mango? Maybe if I think the word MANGO enough I won't think about pussy anymore. Caroline ... mango ... Caroline ... pussy ... God! And now I'm hard ... (217). My shirt bunched up around my waist, and the feeling of his hi-there against my hoohah was indescribable (267). Oh, and you know how Ana from FIFTY SHADES OF GREY has an inner goddess and a subconscious? Not to be outdone, Alice Clayton gifted Caroline with O, the personification of her missing orgasm. O, who has a personality and who Caroline talks to the way she does her cat. I could see the edge, high above the raging waters. As I peeked over the edge, I saw her. O. She waved at me, diving under and over the water like a sexual porpoise. Crafty little bitch (333). Spoiler: Caroline's not swimming. I can't say I'm surprised that I didn't enjoy this book, though. I knew it was going to be rough sailing when the heroine shames the hero in front of all their friends for NOT taking advantage of her while she's drunk. Because how dare he not find her attractive enough to ignore her lack of consent! 1 star

  11. 4 out of 5

    ♥ Barb ♥

    *****5 Bring it on home, Wallbanger stars***** This was me 95% of the book... and more laughing.... ***************************************** This is the story of wallbanging photographer Simon and interior designer Caroline. Their apartments are across the hall from each other and the walls are very very thin....so you can hear everything that's going on in each other's apartments. Are you following me so far? Well, Simon doesn't do relationships, flowers, etc....and one night while BA *****5 Bring it on home, Wallbanger stars***** This was me 95% of the book... and more laughing.... ***************************************** This is the story of wallbanging photographer Simon and interior designer Caroline. Their apartments are across the hall from each other and the walls are very very thin....so you can hear everything that's going on in each other's apartments. Are you following me so far? Well, Simon doesn't do relationships, flowers, etc....and one night while BANGING(yes he was)....he hears BANGING and not the kind you're thinking of....(DOOR BANGING)....he then meets the lovely Caroline. They don't get along at first...but then they become friends and things really start to heat up. Yes this is a love story, but it's also a laughing-your-ass-off-rolling-on-the-floor funny, hilarious book!! WHY? Because of that cat, CLIVE, Mr. Scene-Stealer!! I recommend this book to everyone....seriously if you haven't read it yet....READ IT, and if you've read it....READ IT AGAIN!!! *clapping hands* ****************************************** CLIVE....the scene stealer “The girl next door was meowing. What in the world was my neighbor packing to make that happen?” Simon and Caroline “Simon does commando. God bless America.” Beneath the sheet - which was already lower on his hips than should be legal - He Was Still Hard “Now you listen here, mister,” I said, trying for a more adult tone. “I’m not going to spend every night listening to you try to crash you girl’s head through my wall with the force of your dick alone!” “How do you make Wallbanger stop smirking? You kiss him.” “My shirt bunched up around my waist, and the feeling of his hi-there against my hoohah was indescribable.” Yep still laughing..... “You really have no idea, do you?” … “No idea about what?” … “How thoroughly you own me, Nightie Girl,” he said, leaning in to whisper this part in my ear. “And I know I love you enough to want you to have your happy ending.” “You know those moments when everything is exactly the way it was meant to be? When you find yourself and your entire universe aligning in perfect synchronization, and you know you couldn’t possibly be more content? I was inside that very moment, and fully conscious of it.”

  12. 5 out of 5

    Jodi Malpas

    Just what I needed! During a pretty mad point in my year end, Alice Clayton put the smile on my face I so needed. I loved Caroline, although she was a little crackers, but I've got to cut the girl some slack because if I'd have been lacking in the area in which she was oh so lacking, then I guess I would be a bit of a loose canon too. Enter Simon. The flirting, sexual tension and innuendos that were batting between these two almost me had me wishing I could magic myself into the scene to rip thei Just what I needed! During a pretty mad point in my year end, Alice Clayton put the smile on my face I so needed. I loved Caroline, although she was a little crackers, but I've got to cut the girl some slack because if I'd have been lacking in the area in which she was oh so lacking, then I guess I would be a bit of a loose canon too. Enter Simon. The flirting, sexual tension and innuendos that were batting between these two almost me had me wishing I could magic myself into the scene to rip their clothes off for them. The ending more than made up for my own frustrations. God I love Clive...I want a Clive in my life. In all honesty, I wouldn't mind going through what Caroline went through if I was going to get a Simon as my reward. Yes please and Thank you...VERY MUCH!

  13. 4 out of 5

    Samantha Young

    freaking hilarious and hot read!

  14. 4 out of 5

    ✝✝ Ⓓaisy ❣ ✝✝

    This book is effin' hilarious...... I was laughing non-stop for sure....And Harriet, my mate only made it double exciting When I picked up the first page, I was And we move, 50% dear me, By 85% I was equally frustrated with her, chasing her Big O, and Simon is ain't helping at all! Damn, UST is way too much! Finally, I was screaming with at happiness at 92% and in love! What I can say more, I really really had fun with Simon, Caroline, Clive (such a character)!!!!! Let's meet This book is effin' hilarious...... I was laughing non-stop for sure....And Harriet, my mate only made it double exciting When I picked up the first page, I was And we move, 50% dear me, By 85% I was equally frustrated with her, chasing her Big O, and Simon is ain't helping at all! Damn, UST is way too much! Finally, I was screaming with at happiness at 92% and in love! What I can say more, I really really had fun with Simon, Caroline, Clive (such a character)!!!!! Let's meet them <3 Simon, Mr Wallbanger *winks* Caroline, Ms O *giggles* And finally, the hero, Mr cheeky Clive JUST PICK IT UP AND READ IT! "Fucking Wallbanger" "Fucking Pink Nightie Girl" "Asshole" "cockblocker" "What I do on my side of that wall is my business. Let's get that straight right now. And why are you so concerned about me and my dick anyway?" Hence, it only gets better!!! Need a laugh and sweet read, you have your book!

  15. 5 out of 5

    XxTainaxX Curvy and Nerdy

    I realize that I'm probably in the minority here but while I found the story funny at times, I just didn't find it fulfilling. Caroline has a very unique way of thinking and comes across bit quirky which I like :) I really respected how Simon approached the development of this new relationship which made him all the more likeable as he could have blown our expectations out of the planet with how entangled his web was. Caroline and Simon felt a product of circumstance and matchmaking more than an I realize that I'm probably in the minority here but while I found the story funny at times, I just didn't find it fulfilling. Caroline has a very unique way of thinking and comes across bit quirky which I like :) I really respected how Simon approached the development of this new relationship which made him all the more likeable as he could have blown our expectations out of the planet with how entangled his web was. Caroline and Simon felt a product of circumstance and matchmaking more than anything else. There was attraction, yes, but I felt it lacked depth. Their relationship doesn't even begin until near the end of the book. Even then their first instance of intimacy left something to be desired. It really starts to get good at the very end when they work out what made their first time lacking and we are left with a big fat HFN. No epilogue to give us a glimpse of their future... nada. The cat's POV was a cute touch but answered no questions. It was a cute read but I was looking for more. As far as safety is concerned: no rape/abuse, neither are virgins, there is a crinkle of a wrapper their first time but it's not mentioned again, there are no OM and no OW after they start the relationship and maybe even a little before they do. He does, however, start the book off with multiple women.

  16. 5 out of 5

    Evgeny

    DNF at 70%. Warning: as the majority of the book is dealing with heroine's obsession with sex - or its absence to be exact - my review inevitably falls into R rating. So if you are under 18 stop reading right here, or your mom will make you stand in the corner and will not give you any sweets. Caroline Reynolds led an exciting life of a single woman rapidly approaching her middle age: she was working hard finding fulfillment in her work, often went to a bar with two of her single girlfriends to ge DNF at 70%. Warning: as the majority of the book is dealing with heroine's obsession with sex - or its absence to be exact - my review inevitably falls into R rating. So if you are under 18 stop reading right here, or your mom will make you stand in the corner and will not give you any sweets. Caroline Reynolds led an exciting life of a single woman rapidly approaching her middle age: she was working hard finding fulfillment in her work, often went to a bar with two of her single girlfriends to get drunk. The only bad part about her life was waking up after such escapades alone in her cold flat and with hangover. Judging by the amount of consumed alcohol the previous nights the hangovers must be truly beastly. Why were three friends single and unattached? It was easy to see right in the beginning. From their talk about their dream boyfriends I realized there are at most three such guys in the whole US and around ten in the whole world. All are obviously taken with a big waiting line for each. Coming back to the story, Caroline was having problems with her orgasm - she called it Big O. It was absent. Because we are talking about sex-related orgasms I can offer her a free diagnosis and a potential cure: to have orgasms one must have sex, even with oneself in the most desperate case. Caroline did not (her nickname was Cockbloker, more about it later), so no Big O. There, it seems I made a good sex therapist. Should I quit my current job and head for a greener pastures? Coming back to the story yet again, Caroline was living in a fictional city called San Francisco. How do I know it was fictional? Because the book never mentions the second biggest attraction of the real San Fransisco: bums. The first is the Golden Gate bridge obviously. She moved in to a new affordable apartment only to realize something everybody who ever lived in a condo learned the hard way: walls or not, you can hear your neighbor dropping a pin on a carpeted floor. In her case her neighbor loved to have something Caroline was missing: sex. He had it with at least three different women in different kinky ways shaking a wall in Caroline's apartment and preventing her from getting a quality sleep. Finally she had enough of this and went out to kick the guy's door. She was so angry she forgot all she was wearing was a tiny (and thus sexy) nightie. The two heroes met and fell in love with each other. Here comes the first problem of the book. Our hero was perfection itself. Simon was perfect ever for a romance book character. I could not find even a tiny little weakness in him. Up to this point the story was fast-moving and funny. My rating for this part was 4 firm stars. What happens next is my guess, but it looks to me very probable. Alice Clayton's publisher called her and said that they want to have her book so bad they would pay her by word. From her side Alice Clayton decided it would be a good time to take care of her retirement savings. Thus the rest of the book was born. I mean there are slow burn romances and there is Wallbanger. The humor was completely gone and became a distant memory. The plot was moving with a speed of molasses left outside in Canadian winter. In other words it was staying perfectly still in the same place. The only notable happenings were Caroline's successful attempts to justify her nickname (remember: Cockblocker; she even fixed her male cat to block his sexual desires). She kept giving Simon and herself a bad case of blue balls saying she was waiting for a "perfect moment". Hello lady, what kind of "perfect moment" are you waiting for? It would not be her first sexual experience - she had had plenty before. She was still wondering whatever happened to her Big O. Her cluelesness was probably the only part that could be qualified as remotely funny. Her behavior was an excellent way to induce Simon's erectile dysfunction problems. No guy can be blue balled non-stop daily with no side effects. It is not exactly healthy for women as well. So the book just went on and on. In the last third even some rare events stopped happening. The amount of cheese was way too high even for a romance on a cheesy side. My rating - which was already hanging around 3 stars - went to 2. At this time I realized it is time to DNF before I one-star the book. So ladies and gentlemen, this is my story and I stand by it. Before I shut up let me salute to Caroline's and her girlfriends' livers. No ordinary normal liver can process without failing the amount of alcohol they consumed thorough the whole story. Getting shitfaced not only unsexy, but also bad for health, OK?

  17. 5 out of 5

    Samantha Young

    Hilarious and sexy! One of my favourites.

  18. 4 out of 5

    Jessi ♥️ H. Vojsk

    “Fucking Wallbanger,” I hissed, frozed on the spot. His grin slid off as well as he played place-the-face for a moment. “Fucking Pink Nightie Girl.” Story ⭐️⭐️⭐️ When I was a little younger, I sometimes had a crush on a boy I didn’t even know. Just handsome boys I saw and thought I really liked. When I thought about them I had all the stupid-teenage fantasies. In these fantasies everything was perfect - he was nice, funny, cooking was no problem at all for him and he was actually liking me back. “Fucking Wallbanger,” I hissed, frozed on the spot. His grin slid off as well as he played place-the-face for a moment. “Fucking Pink Nightie Girl.” Story ⭐️⭐️⭐️ When I was a little younger, I sometimes had a crush on a boy I didn’t even know. Just handsome boys I saw and thought I really liked. When I thought about them I had all the stupid-teenage fantasies. In these fantasies everything was perfect - he was nice, funny, cooking was no problem at all for him and he was actually liking me back. There were absolutely no problems at all. Everything was nice and fluffy and so so sweet. Well, that’s exactly such a story - nice, funny and really really unrealistic. I mean I guess there are boys that are handsome, nice and can cook. But I never met them. And certainly life isn’t the perfect version that is showed in this book. A perfect job, handsome sexy neighbor and perfect flat? Yeah, sure. Totally normal. But at least this book reminded me of my teenage crushes and I did have fun while reading it. That’s why it got a three star instead of a well deserved two star. Sorry not sorry. Characters ⭐️⭐️ Oh my, oh my. Perfect job - interior designer, wonderful flat - arranged by her boss, awesome and cool boss, beautiful friends and a crazy cat? Also she has ton of time doing yoga, baking or cooking things while also having the absolute dream job with the perfect friendly boss. Can I have one of those too? But I did like her humor, she was so so funny! What I didn’t really like about the whole book and the characters was their perfection. Good looking, a great character and super talented. All of them. Especially Simon and Caroline, of course. Relationships ⭐️⭐️⭐️ Oh man, drama drama drama. And most of all unnecessary drama. But I loved their friendship. It was so cute. They watched movies together, cooked together. They had jokes and tried to force their friends into kissing. The two of them really had chemistry, I can’t deny that. But you know what problems they had in their relationship? Ex-boy/girlfriends, Harems, missing O’s, mismatched friends. These are not the normal problems a couple has (at least I think so? 🤷🏻‍♀️) But it was cute, so so cute. Writing style ⭐️⭐️ Oh, please, just kill me. I don’t know if I just had a horrible version of the book or if it actually was that horrible, but... it was so weird. It was fun, don’t get me wrong, but it also was pretty chaotic. The thing I liked most of all was definitely the Humor of the author. I was smiling a lot while reading this. “Wine?” “Am I breathing?” “Wine it is.”

  19. 5 out of 5

    AJ

    Essential elements of a sensational romantic comedy novel: Strong, sarcastically hilarious heroine – Check Gorgeously sexy, hot hero – OMG, check, check and CHECK!!!! Sizzling chemistry – Check Hilariously rude flirting – Check Wickedly sensational banter – HELL YEAH Check Swoony romance – Check Steam factor – Holy hell, CHECK! Love, love, love this book! It was hilarious, gorgeously swoony, and so much fun! “Fucking Wallbanger,” I hissed, frozen on the spot. His grin slid off as well as he played pla Essential elements of a sensational romantic comedy novel: Strong, sarcastically hilarious heroine – Check Gorgeously sexy, hot hero – OMG, check, check and CHECK!!!! Sizzling chemistry – Check Hilariously rude flirting – Check Wickedly sensational banter – HELL YEAH Check Swoony romance – Check Steam factor – Holy hell, CHECK! Love, love, love this book! It was hilarious, gorgeously swoony, and so much fun! “Fucking Wallbanger,” I hissed, frozen on the spot. His grin slid off as well as he played place-the-face for a moment. “Fucking Pink Nightie Girl” Caroline and Simon have sizzling chemistry from the start, even though they initially ‘hate’ each other after a late night encounter where Caroline “cockblocks” Simon, telling him to calm his sexual theatrics and its resulting wallbanging. “Now you listen here, mister … I’m not going to spend every night listening to you try to crash your girl’s head through my wall with the force of your dick alone!” Their relationship takes a twist as their friends hook up and they realise that, as neighbors, they can’t exactly stay away from each other. So they call a truce and gradually become friends. I loved their friendship! They have so much fun together, but the rude, crude and flirty banter flies thick and fast, with lots of innuendo and teasing, steamy moments between them (apple pie anybody???). And then there are the conversations via text message – absolute GOLD! The sexual tension builds and builds until our frustrated couple finally get together and oh holy crap is there hotness! Lots and lots of it!!! It’s hot, and it’s graphic, but there’s still humour and lightness there. “Simon does commando. God bless America.” (is it suddenly getting hot in here?) Caroline and Simon are both fantastic characters, I loved them both instantly. Caroline is everything you want in a rom-com heroine – she’s strong, smart, sarcastic and sassy, and Simon is just absolute freaking perfection! (Seriously! Where can I get one?). Hot, sexy and funny, he also has an affectionate, caring side and is clearly talented in the bedroom area. Oh, and he gives good woo :) The last part of the book had me in a permanent state of swoon! “You really have no idea, do you?” … “No idea about what?” … “How thoroughly you own me, Nightie Girl,” he said, leaning in to whisper this part in my ear. “And I know I love you enough to want you to have your happy ending.” The rest of the cast of characters are just as hilarious, and as with other Alice Clayton characters, are exactly the kind of people you would love to have in your life. Including Clive the cat – this cat rocked so much attitude, he deserves his own shout out. I loved it whenever he made an appearance! I was totally obsessed with Caroline and Simon’s story from the very beginning, and loved every single moment of the journey. This book had me holding my sides from laughter and grinning like an idiot the whole time I was reading. Clayton definitely rocks the written romantic comedy. Absolutely brilliant! 5 sensational stars!

  20. 4 out of 5

    Jx PinkLady Reviews ♡ @bookwormthoughts

    5 Wallbanging Stars ♥ This is one of those stories that has made me fall completely and madly in book love, I can't believe I nearly never read it???? What was I thinking?!! Sexual frustration Wanting Needing Allowing yourself more *All experienced in this book* Wallbanger has a cast of wonderful characters led by our hero and heroine, Simon and Caroline, and featuring Clive, a cat.... lol, he's a comedy star! The premise of the story is Caroline has a new neighbour, Simon.... he likes his ladies 5 Wallbanging Stars ♥ This is one of those stories that has made me fall completely and madly in book love, I can't believe I nearly never read it???? What was I thinking?!! Sexual frustration Wanting Needing Allowing yourself more *All experienced in this book* Wallbanger has a cast of wonderful characters led by our hero and heroine, Simon and Caroline, and featuring Clive, a cat.... lol, he's a comedy star! The premise of the story is Caroline has a new neighbour, Simon.... he likes his ladies and banging walls!! lol,lol,lol,lol.... Caroline is on the other side of the said wall and gets her knickers in a right old knot, hearing, not only the wall, but the ladies as well??? "Every spank, every meow, every giggle, and I have had it!" Needless to say, she's exasperated with the situation and faces it head on.... Or should I say hard on??? lol Wallbanger is a pretty amusing book, I found myself constantly smiling and sometimes laughing out loud, it's hilarious in places. I found myself chuckling with the characters, rather than at them.... The best kind of funny. I wanted to be in their gang... Simon (Mr Wallbanger) is a freelance photographer who travels the world, he's, "...a tad bit glorious," and loves female company. Hence the Wallbanging!! Caroline is an interior designer, she's been unlucky in love and the bedroom... She's searching for her elusive (view spoiler)[ 'o' Her orgasms have gone missing. True story!! lol (hide spoiler)] "You gonna bang my walls, Simon?" I laughed. "You have no idea," he promised.... There's an extra cast of girls, boys, and work colleagues, and they all gel perfectly into the story. I love how the girls are so in tune with each other; I felt like they bought me into their girl circle. They had so much fun together. It's not all about laughs, this story has a depth to it that I wasn't expecting.... The amusing turned into heart warming..... It gave me that contented book feeling, big time... Contented loveliness It's all because the author takes her time. She builds and builds the characters, their relationships, it never felt rushed. She develops friendships, shows us the wonderful camaraderie between the girls, the boys. The blossoming friendship between Caroline and Simon... It's truly beautiful. Tears welled up in me when I didn't expect it. "Simon was quickly turning into one of my favorite people." He really was ♥ I adore this kind of story, the kind where a writer slowly paints a picture of a world. The world slowly drew me in bit by bit. Alice Clayton put in the ground work, laid the foundations and made my book heart swell for all kinds of reasons. I found, when Simon was off doing his own thing, I couldn't wait for him to be back on the page with our heroine. I was enamored with him completely. It was romantic. *I cried with them, laughed with them and swooned with Caroline.* Is love written in the stars for them??? I couldn't possibly say.... If you haven't read this wonderfully funny and romantic book already, you need to go get it and have some fun with swoony Simon Wallbanger. ♥ Just Lovely. x

  21. 5 out of 5

    Fathima

    This book cured me of my HUGE reading funk !!!!! 4 stars for the story and the humor + 1 extra star for the last two chapters ! Damn I loved that bit ..... a lot ! Goodreads just 'over capacity'ed me , so I'm gonna try posting my review another day ! In the mean time , READ this book ! Its fuckin hilarious and awesome ! Edit : 30/11/2012 Now, Backbone and Brain were solidly in the wait-for-sex camp, believing this essential to the foundation of this burgeoning relationship. LC ( Lower Ca This book cured me of my HUGE reading funk !!!!! 4 stars for the story and the humor + 1 extra star for the last two chapters ! Damn I loved that bit ..... a lot ! Goodreads just 'over capacity'ed me , so I'm gonna try posting my review another day ! In the mean time , READ this book ! Its fuckin hilarious and awesome ! Edit : 30/11/2012 Now, Backbone and Brain were solidly in the wait-for-sex camp, believing this essential to the foundation of this burgeoning relationship. LC ( Lower Caroline ), and therefore Simon’s penis, were in the have-sex-with-him-as-soon-as-possible society, obviously. O, while not officially in residence, could be counted among LC’s supporters. But I felt a twinge, and just a twinge, of her floating above both camps, along with Heart, who was currently singing songs about everlasting love and warm, fluffy things. So when I finished reading this book , like literally when I finished reading the last page , this song - Finally found you - Enrique Igleasis ft Sammy Adams started playing on my Ipod and I was like ' Purrfect ' ... Damn Enrique is sooooooo HOT in this video ! O , O , O , O , where have you gone ??? Now that seems to be the question Caroline is asking herself . Yup , you read that right . Caroline has lost her O , thanks to machine gun fucker ... Pfffft .... the image that just popped up in my head ... Pffft ... * Clears throat* moving on , so yeah sex with the machine gun fucker has scared Caroline's O and she has stop making her appearances at the desired climax ( pun intended ) . Yeah , bad .... Enter's Simon Wallbanger er ... I mean Simon Parker . Extremely hot , sex personified hunky neighbor next door with an specialized degree in the art of Wallbanging . Contrary to what many believe , its actually his bed that makes the thumping noise and not the fact that he is thrusting his way to homecoming glory against a wall with a .... er ... I may have deviated from the actual matter which was ... which was ... ummmm ...yeah that Simon is hot and the attraction between him and Caroline is almost instant . And according to sources , he may just be the one to bring back Caroline's O !!!!! But there's a problem , Simon is not into relationships , and Caroline ... Well lets just say that she wants a happy ending . So will love finally happen or will this just be a lets-just-have-sex-and-then-move-on thing ??? Will Caroline finally find her missing O or is she doomed to a O-less future for the rest of her life ??? Well , read the story and find out for yourself !!!! This was my first Alice Clayton read , and I gotta admit that I'm in love with her sense of humor and writing style ! I've pretty much highlighted the entire book in my kindle app . Witty banters , over the top internal monologues and way-not-normal characters make Wallbanger a snort out loud comical experience ! Caroline , god that lady is just soo not okay . From a lost O to her baked goodies to her cat to her thoughts about Simon , sex and his 'harem' had me breaking into fits of laughter . I adored her as a character . Simon .... He was just ... I mean .... I mean .... Argh , I WANT HIM , LIKE RIGHT NOW !!!! Simple ! He is soooooo hot ! “Do you have any idea how much fun we’re going to have?” he asked, slipping his hands inside my apron, warm and a little rough on my tummy. “What are you up to?” “An O has been lost, and I’m a sucker for a challenge.” The sex here is beyond amazing ! I love messy sex ..er scenes , messy sex scenes and this book delivers it all ! Dough , honey , marmalade , sugar , flour ... soap ! LOVED IT ! This book is definitely hilarious with a lot of snort-giggle-smirk-grin- moments ! Simon and Caroline's double meaning text messages , the conversations between Caroline , Mimi , Sophia , Ryan , Neil and Simon ... Not to forget Caroline's pussy er , I mean Cat - Clive were amazing ! Wallbanger is a perfect mixture of romance , comedy and a whole lot of baked goodies !!!!

  22. 4 out of 5

    Wendy'sThoughts

    4 Simon Baker-The Mentalist, Flirty, Banter, Baked Goods Stars **** Spoiler Free Dear Ms. Clayton, I am writing to you as I know you have a close personal relationship with Simon, Caroline and their posse. I wanted to first congratulate you on excellent taste. You telling us about these people in the way that you did, just brightened up my day. It was such a change to see grown up, evolved professionals behave as friends, looking out for one another and interacting in a respectful manner. That the 4 Simon Baker-The Mentalist, Flirty, Banter, Baked Goods Stars **** Spoiler Free Dear Ms. Clayton, I am writing to you as I know you have a close personal relationship with Simon, Caroline and their posse. I wanted to first congratulate you on excellent taste. You telling us about these people in the way that you did, just brightened up my day. It was such a change to see grown up, evolved professionals behave as friends, looking out for one another and interacting in a respectful manner. That they weren’t perfect little angels or bad ass bikers but real relatable souls struck a chord in me. Which brings me to the reason why I am writing to you: I have some things I wish to tell Simon personally and I think you are the only way to do that …. So here it goes…. Simon… You don’t know me… but as crazy as it is… I know you. I know all about your photographic career, which by the way, is wonderfully creative and reveals more about you than you may realize. It shows how you recognize all the beauty this world has to offer and your acceptance and willingness to share it with us. I know you have strong bonds with Benjamin, who took you under his wing when life dealt you the worst of blows, and a core group of friends. Your taking time to nurture these relationships shows that even with the fear of losing people you have loved… you are willing to give of yourself in some capacity which means when you find the one… it will happen. And oh, I am so thrilled it seems to be happening for you, Simon. Because, although I understood exactly the rotation of “friends” you had and why you had this set up, protecting yourself and all… I did see an inkling of you moving towards wanting more…. So here you now are with this interaction with Caroline… and I am really excited to see how this goes… You seem to love pushing her buttons, texting with her and teasing… I think this tactic will work… and you may feel a little uneasy with feelings which will begin to surface… but don’t let that scare you away… And her baking for you all the time… just so you know… a really great indication of her liking you even though she may not say it out right…. So you just keep being the flirty, charming and oh, so sexy guy you are... Ok, Stop… Right There… Yes, You Simon… don’t you look all shy because I said that… you know you are amazing with the women….knowing exactly what you are doing when you do it… so don’t get all bashful or embarrassed… Good… we are now on the same page…so what I just want to finish saying is stay the course… continue to woo Ms. Caroline… don’t let her get away with any lying or hiding… because between you and me… she seems to be having a particular situation happening which is making her especially cranky with herself and others…and she is worth the effort. Finally, all I want is for you to be happy in your life… be open to what may take place in the future if you let it… and from my point of view… I think you need to keep on following your instincts with Caroline….after all… what have you got to lose… the two of you seem to be friends and all that zucchini bread you love at your disposal… seems like win-win and possibly love… to me. Yours Truly... a huge Simon Fan So, thank you Ms. Clayton… and I will continue to watch for any other reveals you may share with us in the future because I love the people you hang out with…. Oh, you thought I forgot Clive? I didn’t forget… but you see my love for Clive… that falls into another category all together. Wallbanger (Cocktail, #1) https://www.goodreads.com/review/show... Rusty Nailed (Cocktail, #2) Screwedrivered (Cocktail, #3) https://www.goodreads.com/review/show... Mai Tai'd Up (Cocktail, #4) https://www.goodreads.com/review/show... For more Reviews, Free E-books and Giveaways

  23. 4 out of 5

    Jilly

    I had a good time reading this with my friends at the abtastic ab-loving geishas, but I did find it a little juvenile and shallow. Funny - but juvenile and shallow. The best part of the book was Clive the Cat. Clyde falls in love with a girl who meows, attacks his owner's new boyfriend's head, and even flips off Caroline. "Shut it, Clive," I hissed. A paw came out through the crack and I swear he flipped me off... I can honestly say that this is the first cat I've ever liked. I've always known I had a good time reading this with my friends at the abtastic ab-loving geishas, but I did find it a little juvenile and shallow. Funny - but juvenile and shallow. The best part of the book was Clive the Cat. Clyde falls in love with a girl who meows, attacks his owner's new boyfriend's head, and even flips off Caroline. "Shut it, Clive," I hissed. A paw came out through the crack and I swear he flipped me off... I can honestly say that this is the first cat I've ever liked. I've always known that cats are evil, but an evil cat like Clive? I can respect his bad-boy vibe. oh, now that's going too far! I take back ever liking a cat!

  24. 4 out of 5

    Shurrn

    Wallbanger is the literary equivalent of a long night giggling with your best friend over cocktails & pints of ice-cream… It just makes you feel good… Nights like that might not be life altering… but they'll stick with you all the same. A fond memory you can draw on when you're having a rough day. This book will affect you in a similar way. We all know the premise... Caroline moves into a new condo and is repeatedly woken up by her neighbor's headboard banging into the wall... After confronting th Wallbanger is the literary equivalent of a long night giggling with your best friend over cocktails & pints of ice-cream… It just makes you feel good… Nights like that might not be life altering… but they'll stick with you all the same. A fond memory you can draw on when you're having a rough day. This book will affect you in a similar way. We all know the premise... Caroline moves into a new condo and is repeatedly woken up by her neighbor's headboard banging into the wall... After confronting the sex machine on the other side of the bedroom wall, a love / hate friendship begins to emerge between Caroline & her Wallbanger... I say BANG! As in, Wallbanger... As in, this is Bang-on Hillarious... As in: We're talking lost orgasms... Hot neighbors... Sexual tension that's off the charts... Laugh-Out-Loud until your husband looks at you like you've lost your mind... Characters that are so quirky, you feel like you might actually run into them if you're ever in San Francisco... Simon Parker (aka Wallbanger Wondercock) Caroline Reynolds (aka Pink Nightie Girl) Clive (aka Kitty Hugh Hefner) Even her girlfriends are hilarious! How did I look while reading this book? Non-stop enjoyment and laughter. It was a heartwarming romance, and just what I needed to read! Let me get warm & fuzzy for a second... You know why I love GoodReads.com? Book Buddies. You know what else I love? Recommendations. I'm not talking about the general algorithm basted "If you liked ____, try ____..." and I'm definitely not talking about the hundreds of unsolicited recommendations I get on the "recommendations" page (I ignore the crap out of those, BTW)... I'm talking about making a friend based on your collective book choices, and chatting with them until they really get to know your personality and preferences. "Well if you liked the Characters from Book A, and enjoyed the Author from Book B, but you hated the plot twist in Book C... Maybe you should read Book D..." That's how I got to read Wallbanger. Sure, I saw it was a finalist in the Readers Choice Awards, and I've seen the odd update here and there... But it wasn't until I received a recommendation from Wendy (Wm AddictedReader&LovingTeamO) that I actually resolved to open the copy that has been gathering virtual dust on my eBook shelf for weeks. And Sweet Baby Jesus, am I glad that i did! For the record, that's not the first time she's given me an awesome recommendation... She's my Bookish Fairy Godmother. So what is the moral of this story? 1. Read Wallbanger 2. Cultivate relationships with your Book Friends 3. Indulge in something fun AND GUESS WHAT! Wallbanger is a series... So we can expect three more books in 2014! I'll just sit here and wait for that, because now I'm officially an Alice Clayton fan! Some of My Favorite Moments (view spoiler)[ The beginnings of carpal tunnel were threatening to set in as I tried desperately to get myself off. But O was on seemingly permanent hiatus. And I don’t mean Oprah. ...the international house of orgasms from the other side of the wall... She was steadfast in her belief that everyone had a soulmate. Eh…I’d just settle for my Soul-O. I wanted to level him with my eyes, make him beg for mercy. But no…Not Simon, Director of the International House Of Orgasms. He Was Still Smirking. “I’m not going to spend every night listening to you try to crash your girl’s head through my wall with the force of your dick alone! No way, buddy.” ...a low voice that could melt, well, anything. My brain was most certainly among those things, seeing as I suddenly felt it oozing out of my ears and on down to my collar. In the span of five seconds, a thousand things happened: I saw Simon and Purina in the hallway, bags from Whole Foods in hands, key in front door. I saw Mimi at the door, barefoot and leaning (again with the leaning) in the doorway. I saw Clive rear back on his hind legs preparing to jump in a way that I’d only ever seen him do once when I hid the catnip on the top of the fridge. Babies were born, old people died, stocks were traded, and someone faked an orgasm. All in those five seconds. God, he gave great meatball. But as close as friends and lovers could be, there was something about belonging to someone completely that gave you roots—roots you sometimes needed when the world battled against you. “You’re still intrigued though, aren't you?” He grinned, turning the blue eyes loose on me. My panties actually disintegrated. I think O even popped her head up for a moment, like a groundhog. She took a quick glance around and pronounced it much closer to spring than she’d been in months. Be aware of the walls you build and what could be on the other side Confucius, you kill me. Holding the shoe like some kind of late-night Prince Charming to my slutty O-less Cinderella, Simon appeared in my doorway, barefoot and in his pajama bottoms. Here’s the thing about a spit take. In the movies, they’re hysterical. In real life, they’re just messy. He was like the best Kegel exercise ever—instant clench. “Harem free, huh?” I breathed back, visions of Sugar Simons dancing in my head. Single Sugar Simons, Single Sugar Simons in Spain… He was wooing me. And I was letting him woo. I wanted the woo. I deserved the woo. I needed the wow that would surely follow the woo, but for now, the woo? It was whoa. What was crassly called “under the shirt action” became part of a romance, and something that could have been merely physical became something emotional and pure. Simon goes commando. God bless America. “Always take a compliment, Caroline. Always take it for the way it was intended. You girls are always so quick to twist what others say. Simply say thank you and move on.” She smiled in that quiet and wise way she had... “It breaks my heart the way young girls pick themselves over, never thinking they’re good enough. You make sure you always remember, you’re exactly the way you’re supposed to be. Exactly. And anyone who says otherwise, well, poppycock.” “If you don’t stop, I’m going to stop fucking you, and believe me when I say I haven’t even begun to ravage you in all the ways I've dreamed about.” (hide spoiler)] Update May 9, 2014: I had the opportunity to say hello to the lovely and hilarious Alice Clayton in Memphis while she was traveling with the Belles on Wheels Book Tour. I had an awkward photo op and got her to sign a copy of this fabulous book for me!

  25. 4 out of 5

    Aileene

    And the Wallbanger book is born. The Abtastic Ab Loving Geishas And the date was set & the Wallbanger enthusiasts started reading. 2-3 days after. F* no. This is not a 5 star read. Oh boy. *mouths* Someone's not happy. Ok. To explain. It started out good. Really good, actually. It was hilarious and the story held my interest....at first. Heck, who wouldn't be addicted to you when you can squeeze orgasm out of a woman's vagina like I do with my juicing oranges every morning? But while this was a cute read And the Wallbanger book is born. The Abtastic Ab Loving Geishas And the date was set & the Wallbanger enthusiasts started reading. 2-3 days after. F* no. This is not a 5 star read. Oh boy. *mouths* Someone's not happy. Ok. To explain. It started out good. Really good, actually. It was hilarious and the story held my interest....at first. Heck, who wouldn't be addicted to you when you can squeeze orgasm out of a woman's vagina like I do with my juicing oranges every morning? But while this was a cute read and you seem to rock every woman who dips in your bed, I couldn't help to be a bit disappointed. I read reviews and many have given high recommendations and 5 star ratings. Although that didn't give me high expectations, it however, made me voted to read your book. Reasons why I wasn't THAT impressed: 1. What's with the winking? I didn't skim pages nor any paragraphs so I was sure there was no mentioned of characters suffering from severe conjunctivitis here. And the poking of tongues out too. TSK! So immature. 2. Pls, get your woman to stop twirling. Only Aileene twirls. 3. We're getting to the main part here. The plot ►►►►was a no-brainer. The characters ►►►►were shallow. The dialogues...whilst I find it pretty funny and entertaining, it was too much too. But what really turned my nose up was: Everyone found an Adam to their Eve {'cept for Clive. Purina could've stayed with him since we were following a theme here of "pair up everyone".} Does everyone need a pair? And this: the WHOLE BOOK all I read was Caroline's hibernating O, sex, sexual frustrations, flirtations, giggling. I would've loved all these, you see, if they were injected in small doses but the entire book SCREAMING ALL those to me? *shakes head*. No. Sorry. Very well then. No. Not even 4 stars. I still have more in my list. *annoyed* You just jumped in and screamed Simon says, all of a sudden.. So to continue. The banging between the Romeo and the heroine only happened at the end of the book. That! Was! A! Long! Wait! And then after that wait, something still went wrong. (view spoiler)[ Lower Caroline's O played hard to get. Was a no-show on their first intimacy (hide spoiler)] so it dragged even longer. And the sexy times. What sexy times? After that long wait and the no-show, I couldn't appreciate anything anymore. Also, I can't help but poke at Caroline's inner monologue here. This reminds me of Elaine from Seinfield with Jerry saying that Elaine casual talks during sex. With Elaine, it was hilarious. With Caroline on the other hand.... Now the things I did appreciate: 1. You painted a good image in my head with those powerful hip thrusts you did. I don't care how much I spent on my bed but I want those earth shattering thrusts in my bed too. 2. The 2 main characters are enjoyable to read. They have good chemistry. Individually, they were hilarious. Together, still hilarious but I was afforded different emotions too when they were starting to get involved and that was a delight to read. It certainly gave additional punch to the story and totally worth to read about. 3. The book was easy to read. There was a slight error at the end though. “Did you know Mimi and Neil are thinking about moving in together? Isn’t that a little soon? I hope they know what they’re getting into,” I reported, arching up to meet his kisses.” Mimi was with Ryan, NOT WITH NEIL.They swapped partners. Sorry, Simon, I'm rating this 2.5 stars I promise I would read the sequels though. :::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::: SO READY TO GET BANGED ON THE WALL. Buddy read with my Geisha girls starting 1st of June.

  26. 5 out of 5

    Carol

    So sad to DNF at 51% but if you have been following my status you would realize that it has taken me 4 days to get halfway through this respectable and humorous romance (that's definitely a long time for me). So many friends commented on how much they enjoyed this book when I started reading it and I do feel really bad for not loving it more or even continuing to read. Basically, this seems like a book on the surface of things that I should either "fall in love" with or at least enjoy alot. I must So sad to DNF at 51% but if you have been following my status you would realize that it has taken me 4 days to get halfway through this respectable and humorous romance (that's definitely a long time for me). So many friends commented on how much they enjoyed this book when I started reading it and I do feel really bad for not loving it more or even continuing to read. Basically, this seems like a book on the surface of things that I should either "fall in love" with or at least enjoy alot. I must admit I do love the California setting and there is also some wonderful humor in it as well as a sort of sweetness that became apparent with further reading but yet again: Why has it taken me 4 days to get to the halfway point and I also can't seem to read more than a few chapters without putting it aside for a while????" Who knows, maybe I will pick it up again in a few years and give it another try!!!!! but auf Wiedersehen for NOW!!!!!

  27. 5 out of 5

    Wendy Darling

    This should probably be a 2 star rating because it wasn't awful, but I really just didn't like it at all. The sex wasn't spectacular, and I didn't find this as funny or cute or hot as everyone else seems to. Oh, well.

  28. 5 out of 5

    Muse-ic ♬

    I dunno. It was cute up until they went to Spain. After that, I just kind of lost interest...... To be fair though, it was overall better than I was expecting. HOWEVER! I need to mention this because I'M FUCKING SICK OF EVERY MALE LEAD IN EROTICAS HAVING 200 PACK ABS! THIS GUY IS LITERALLY A PHOTOGRAPHER FOR A LIVING AND THERE IS ZERO MENTION OF HIM GOING TO THE GYM ON A REGULAR BASIS. DO YOU REALIZE HOW HARD IT IS TO GET ABS? IF YOU'RE NOT CONSTANTLY WORKING OUT, EATING THE MOST SPECIFIC DIET (and I dunno. It was cute up until they went to Spain. After that, I just kind of lost interest...... To be fair though, it was overall better than I was expecting. HOWEVER! I need to mention this because I'M FUCKING SICK OF EVERY MALE LEAD IN EROTICAS HAVING 200 PACK ABS! THIS GUY IS LITERALLY A PHOTOGRAPHER FOR A LIVING AND THERE IS ZERO MENTION OF HIM GOING TO THE GYM ON A REGULAR BASIS. DO YOU REALIZE HOW HARD IT IS TO GET ABS? IF YOU'RE NOT CONSTANTLY WORKING OUT, EATING THE MOST SPECIFIC DIET (and trust me Simon does NOT have this diet), AND HAVE LIKE 0% BODY FAT, IT'S JUST UNREALISTIC TO GET THOSE ABS IN THE FIRST PLACE, MUCH LESS MAINTAIN THEM!! ALSO SEX IS NOT ENOUGH OF A WORKOUT TO JUSTIFY HAVING OR KEEPING THOSE ABS!! Dear authors everywhere, NOT EVERY DUDE EVERYWHERE EVER MUST HAVE ABS TO BE A SMOKING SEXY SPECIMEN! OKAY?? Sincerely, Frustrated that not every guy I've ever met has abs

  29. 4 out of 5

    Rosalinda *KRASNORADA*

    3.5 stars Ok, let's keep this short and sweet... This book was OKAY but just okay, nothing exciting. I was expecting much more but well, I guess I am in a book funk at the moment. Simon and Caroline live in the same building. They meet each other because Simon is a Wall Banger. Yes, he f@cks different chicks every night and Caroline and her sweet and EVIL cat Clive can't sleep. So well, you're probably getting the picture... One night she knocks on his door and TA CHAN they see each other and the 3.5 stars Ok, let's keep this short and sweet... This book was OKAY but just okay, nothing exciting. I was expecting much more but well, I guess I am in a book funk at the moment. Simon and Caroline live in the same building. They meet each other because Simon is a Wall Banger. Yes, he f@cks different chicks every night and Caroline and her sweet and EVIL cat Clive can't sleep. So well, you're probably getting the picture... One night she knocks on his door and TA CHAN they see each other and they feel this special connection and blah blah blah. MEH! Why do authors do that??? *SHAKES HEAD*. The thing is Simon is not the bad boy you might think he is and Caroline is an okay heroine (don't have complains about her to be honest). I don't want to spoil the story for you so let's just say they keep seeing each other, they become friends, their feelings become more intense and... after all the build up (I loved it) I suddenly lost the interest. Don't know how to explain my feelings but I was expecting something else. I know most of you loved her O talking but OMG, I hated it! I found it sooooo boring but that's just my opinion. I must say I loved their (view spoiler)[ trip to Spain (hide spoiler)] . The author did a good researching job as I felt like they were really in (view spoiler)[ Nerja (hide spoiler)] . I am pretty sure she probably has been here because some of the descriptions were perfect. Well done! Clive, Caroline's cat, was my favourite character. He was funny but that thing with purina??? Va a ser que no... Overall, an ok read. If you want to laugh for a while and read a sweet story then go for it, most of my buddies loved it!

  30. 4 out of 5

    Smitten's Book Blog

    Laugh-out-loud, snort-tea-through-your-nose, stupid-grin-on-your-face funny! I found that this took a little while to get going. At about the 25% mark, it was dragging and I was thinking to myself 'Ok, so? Come on, get to the point.' And then it did! And it was hilariously funny, brilliantly witty, yet adorably romantic and incredibly sexy! Yep, all of those things rolled into one book. Wrapped around each other but now clad in a pink nightie and a pair of sweatpants. To be clear, I wore th Laugh-out-loud, snort-tea-through-your-nose, stupid-grin-on-your-face funny! I found that this took a little while to get going. At about the 25% mark, it was dragging and I was thinking to myself 'Ok, so? Come on, get to the point.' And then it did! And it was hilariously funny, brilliantly witty, yet adorably romantic and incredibly sexy! Yep, all of those things rolled into one book. Wrapped around each other but now clad in a pink nightie and a pair of sweatpants. To be clear, I wore the pink nightie. I loved every single character in this book. Alice Clayton has such a way with writing characters you can't help but adore. I want to be friends with Caroline, Sophia and Mimi! I want to meet a group of men like Simon, Ryan and Neil! And I want a boss like Jillian! The one liners were priceless. Caroline's thought processes were so so funny. You will get strange looks if you read this in public because you will giggle-snort-splutter all the way through. The text chats were brilliantly thought out and so clever. The author gave us so much information by sharing the text messages between all of the different characters, without having to write out long winded scenes. And it really gave an insight into the relationships between the characters. I especially loved the texts between Caroline and Simon... *swoon*! You done with work? Yep, at home waiting for you. Now that's a nice visual... Prepare yourself, I'm taking bread out of the oven. Don't tease me woman...zucchini? Cranberry orange. Mmmm... No woman has ever done breakfast bread foreplay the way you do. Ha! When you coming? Can't. Drive. Straight. Can we have one conversation when you're not twelve? Sorry, I'll be there in 30 Perfect, that will give me time to frost my buns. Pardon me? Oh, didn't I tell you? I also made cinnamon rolls. Be there in 25. Speaking of Simon... *swoon a little more* Hot hot hot. That first image of him wrapped in a bed sheet, covered in sex-sweat, pretty much sets you up for the rest of the book. This is man is sex personified! Beneath the sheet - which was already lower on his hips than should be legal - He Was Still Hard But beyond that, his feelings for Caroline are so cute! I loved the 'getting-to-know-you' stage... the scary movie, the baking apple pie, the attack of the water pipes, the cute nicknames, the nooking ... it all developed so naturally and believably. Brilliant brilliant writing from Alice Clayton. “You gonna bang my walls, Simon?” I laughed. “You have no idea,” he promised. In the words of Simon, if you're after a chuckle and a truly spiffy read, Wallbanger is your book and Simon “Wallbanger” Parker is your man! Just trying to get a visual of you on the beach in Spain… How's that working out for you? Pretty spiffy. Spiffy? Did you just say spiffy? I typed it actually. You got something against spiffy? To read more reviews go to my Book Blog: http://smittensbookblog.wordpress.com/ Follow me on Twitter: https://twitter.com/SmittenSC Find me on Pinterest: http://pinterest.com/smittensc/ Join us on Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/groups/427743...

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